Mmmm…Bacon.

In honor of an appetizer that I will be making for a family get together this weekend, I had to share a fantastic story. A little background is required to truly appreciate it:

I am Jewish. My husband is Catholic. I grew up eating fish for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The same can be said about him, except it was pork. He and his family love pork. That is an understatement but in order to remain in some good graces, I will leave it at that. Recalling one Christmas holiday where there was 14 different pork products served in less than 24 hours. I was baffled by a pig’s ability to reincarnate itself in 14 different dishes. I digress.

While on a walk with a dear friend, a BLT dip appetizer was mentioned. I smiled and shouted with glee! I was going to make this for Alex’s family and be the hit of the party! I always over do it and so I decided to double the recipe. A recipe that already took 1 pound of bacon. Being the good Jewish girl that I am…well not that good considering I married a pork eating Catholic, I committed myself to making the recipe. When explaining the recipe to the hubby, he mentioned how his mother used to cook the bacon in the microwave. Seeing as I was not very proficient at making bacon (disclaimer here that turkey bacon is not real bacon and it cooks differently), I let Alex do the “cooking”.

Fast forwarding the story…I went somewhere and came back and the house smelled of bacon. I go into the kitchen and see Alex standing next to the microwave with paper towels everywhere and this giant square shaped pile on a plate. It can only be described as a layered concoction of bacon and paper towels. Alex had decided that he was going to microwave two pounds of bacon…ALL AT ONCE!

At first I was livid, I was beside myself! All that bacon, ruined! You would have thought that it was fillet mignon. Then I thought more about what I had walked into and realized that he was microwaving TWO POUNDS of BACON! Then I really lost it. But this time, it was from laughing.

To this day he will deny and then confirm the events discussed above. My eyes were tearing up just writing this blog entry! Looking forward to trying this recipe again!

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs!

This is the point in the blogging process where the proud parents take the opportunity to tell the entire world (or small blog reading community) that we have the SMARTEST BABY EVER! Yes, it has been officially acknowledged by the AAABA – Amazing AND Accelerated Baby Academy. Coincidentally, AAABA is a common phrase spoken by our genius of a baby..Ok never mind, she’s not a genius, but she is REALLY SMART!

We have been watching sign-language videos for the past 3+ months. She is in love with these videos. “Rachel” is the woman in the videos. She lives in our TV. We ask “Where’s Rachel?” and Jenna looks immediately to the TV. She will only watch these two videos. When nothing else will calm her, we watch “Rachel”. We know ALL of the songs and ALL of the signs. “Let’s Dance! Dance! Do the Diaper Dance!”

Within the past month, Jenna has really started to accelerate in the signing. She often “signs” to herself. It is PRECIOUS! To date, this is everything that she can sign intentionally:

Eat, More, Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Cat, Dog, Bird, All Done, Milk, Horse, Frog, Fish, Baby, Ball, Car, Head/Hat, Shoe, Thank you, Please.

Enough bragging for one day!

Free to a good home…

One Cat. One Husband. One Cat and Husband. Errr…fine, never mind.

Husbands and wives often share the household chores. For almost the past 2 years, when I got pregnant, throughout the pregnancy, post pregnancy and still now…Alex has been the person responsible for scooping the cat litter. I have entrusted him with this very difficult task. The cat is really not particular and she lets the litter sit for a week. How hard can that be? Some cats require instant cleanings…but not ours. On a few occasions SOMEBODY forgets to clean the litter and the other SOMETHING decides that the carpet is more suitable then the overflowing box of waste…can you blame her? Now this other SOMEBODY, yours truly, has this uncanny ability to discover these disgusting bombs and having to clean them because the husband is not around. These events are beyond horrific. I will leave details out.

Last week it occurred again. It was lethal. I needed a gas mask and rubber gloves to handle the situation. I will offer the readers some reprieve by not posting the picture that was sent to the husband. This other picture speaks for itself.

Again….Free to a good home. One Cat and One Husband. Cash Only. No Refunds. Potentially may be open for a Trade In?? Bad Wife.

Dear Playskool and Fisher-Price…

To whom it may concern:

Your toys are failing to live up to their expectations. I am disappointed in your ability to capture my child’s attention. You really need to step it up. It takes the skill of a military trained bomb detonator to take toys out of their packaging. Is it really necessary to secure a plastic dog with that much tape and wire? The cardboard they’re packaged in can only be cut by a machete.

Once I get your toy out, the obnoxious songs and bright colors fall by wayside compared to the cell phone charger, the TV remote control, the cordless phone, um…what else, the puffball cat toy…you get the point! My child is more entertained with a package of butt wipes. What am I missing here?

In closing, do your job better toy makers.

Sincerely, Disgruntled Mother of a 1 year old who gets into EVERYTHING

(Sorry, guess I should have prefixed this complaint letter with that disclaimer)

PINK PINK PINK!

Here are some pictures from our "friends" birthday party this past weekend. The theme was HOT PINK ladybugs...since mommmy strongly dislikes the color red! A special thanks to all the friends that came to celebrate with us :) and a special thanks to one special one for making it all happen (and making 80+ hot pink ladybug decorated cupcakes!)

opening gifts
mommy and daddy singing
jenna in her birthday outfit
mmmm....cupcakes!

She had Junk in the Trunk. Trunk. Trunk.

Guys like that….What? What? Baby move that Butt…ok yes. Enough. Reminds me of college days!

A typical morning in our household: Alex decides that we will reward all his hard work of clearing out the garage by parking his car in the garage last night. No big deal. I came home after him last night and parked my car in the driveway. No big deal. Alex leaves for work at 6:00 am…not a huge deal because I was already up. So I get in my car and move it out of the driveway. I am waiting in the car for him to pull out of the garage and so I can return back to the house. No movement. This is typical Alex…whenever we’re running somewhere, most of the times behind schedule, he has to quickly run back in to get that thing he forgot, or do this one thing that could wait a week or has been waiting for a week. So I am trying to be patient….which I am TERRIBLE at…and still, no movement. Then I finally see him heading down the driveway…ON FOOT. His car battery is dead. He mumbles something about extreme temperatures drain batteries, blah blah blah. It is early…I am not pay attention. So we get his car out and align it with mine so we can jump his car.


Alex has a sweet vintage 1997 Gold Camry. Very classy though it has a higher crime rate compared to other cars because older people often think that that is their 90’s Gold Camry and they try to get into it. I have my Volvo XC90…I love my car …the perfect soccer mom vehicle.


Step 1, open hoods. Camry - Check. Volvo....How do you do that?? I have not opened the hood yet of my Volvo. I consult the trusty owner’s manual, which I have yet to read, 2 years later. There are a lot of bells and whistles of my car that I haven’t quiet discovered yet. Mental note, in all your free time, read the owner’s manual. Sure. Ok. Volvo - Check.


Step 2, attach jumper cables to batteries. Camry battery attached – Check. Volvo battery….Volvo battery…um…where is it? Mind you it is early, but both of us were pretty awake at this point. Where is the BATTERY in a Volvo? Consult the trusty manual….ah…in the trunk. Clever Swedish Engineers! I think Alex’s words were “What the hell kind of car is this?” I reply “It’s a spaceship!”. He wasn’t amused.

It is nearing 6:15 am or so at this point and Alex really needs to get on the road. We open the trunk and find the battery. There are these giant clamp/fastens keeping the battery secure. You need a jackhammer to get those bolts off! We’re screwed! ONLY US!


What happens next? Our dear friend Lynne has been staying with us once a week because she is doing work in the area. We used her car, which doesn’t have a battery in the trunk, to jump start Alex’s car. Off to work he went, back inside I went. All is well again.


I love my Volvo.

today was a fairytale

happy first birthday jenna!

today my baby girl turned one. it was one of the best days of my life, and rounding out by far the best year of my life. i knew i wanted kids but never knew how much i would love being a mom. or even what that meant. today was for alex and i. jenna is one, she won’t remember this day from any other day this week. we were able to celebrate our survival as parents. we did it!

the birthday girl and daddy playing with jenna's new friend.