Um…ok, let’s go wash your hands

So we’re getting to that point in our toddler’s life [yes I said toddler! It is heartbreaking] where if she is not in sight and it is quiet, that something bad is 99.9% happening. She has been able to walk now for over a month and often gives into her curiosity and starts to explore. Typically she is found eating Mommy’s hair. Very gross but this isn’t the worst. We have been known to chow down on some cat food. The picture below was her indulging in a few scoops of lotion. Yummy!

And what goes with lotion?? Well of course, a couple of scoops of water from the toilet. Yes. My daughter quenches her thirst from the toilet. I am not even going to pose the question if this is normal or not.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

I forget that babies are little sponges. They pick up on the little things that we do. I don’t even realize this at times. The other week, while trying to multi-task, I left Jenna in front of the TV watching one of her videos. She typically is content and will stay in one place. I came back downstairs about 5-10 minutes later (bad mommy) and I see Jenna standing over a pool of saliva. And of course my blackberry phone is swimming in the middle of the man-made pond. It was saturated. Needless to say: it was broken. Like permanently broken. The kind of broken when you take it to the Verizon store and they show you the water-damaged indicator within the phone, which was turned bright red, indicating severe water damage.

Where am I going with this? My 14 month old now has her own phone. A pink blackberry phone, just like her mommy did…past tense. Sigh. A month or so ago I took pictures of her chatting on the phone, when it functioned. They were hilarious. I was driving over the weekend and I hear in the background her chatter:

“Hahhhyaaa”. “Haaayahhhaa”. “Hahyaahha”.


I look in my mirror and there she is, holding the blackberry up to her ear and chatting away. Little monkey is just like mommy monkey.

The TOP 10

I wanted to prove to the husband that I am capable of blogging my not-so-wonderful qualities/behaviors. I FREQUENTLY do something “bad” and he goes…”gonna put that on the blog?”. So YES Alex…I am. Just like the top 10 on late night TV shows…here is my TOP 10 BAD LAURA list:

10. I am known to leave the bed in an un-made state…often.
9. When I am hungry, I am a beast to be around. I tend to come back to normal after I eat something.
8. I don’t know the word “No”.
7. I tend to take on primate cleansing behavior and “pick” at the hubby – gag, gross, I know.
6. I forget to feed the cat…often…again.
5. I take on more primate cleansing behaviors with our daughter's ears and nose.
4. I yell at the hubby when he puts butter on foods because that is gross and unnecessary…especially foods like sticky buns…it is already loaded with butter fatty!!
3. I nag and am judgemental and monitor the hubby’s food intake…see #4
2. I throw out milk cartons and do not remember to rinse them out. The house then has a rancid smell and I blame the hubby
.….
#1: I forget to pay a certain fairy at times…ask my mom, she’s in debt to the fairy too!

I am not perfect. Alex, you’re welcome.

She said what?!

The baby is no longer a baby. She is officially a toddler, as she has progressed to the next room at the daycare. The toddler room. Where they wear shoes [we only have one pair that fits], sleep on nap-mats, and drink from sippy cups. She’s a big girl!! Jenna finally learned how to walk, which was fantastic to see. Within one week, she was walking, climbing out of beds, and attempting to open the door. I swear this next statement is not made up: she was doing the hand gestures for the “Itsy Bitsy Spider” song!! They were wreckless and off-beat, but I KNEW that she was doing it!!

So yes, she is VERY smart…but compared to ALL of our friends who have babies, she’s a genius like the rest of them. We have a significant number of friends with babies around Jenna’s age. They all have their own special tricks, capabilities, and talents. And like Jenna, I am sure that they stick their finger in the nose, stick out their tounge, and pass-gas in public! All the babies are perfect in their own ways.

You would think as a parent, you wouldn’t start being competitive with your offspring when they are at this age…YOU WOULD THINK. I am not naming names but there is one person I know, who proceeded to take competition between my kid and their kid, to an unmentionable level. Let’s just say that I was told, at a family event, that my 1 year old can CURSE! Imagine that! My own little sailor. Well, if you saw her learn to walk, she did look like a intoxicated sailor. So sure, XXXXXX [not mentioning this idiot’s name]…jenna dropped the F-BOMB! Thank you for announcing this fictious statement to an entire group of people.

I guess my kid is the SMARTEST of all the kids out there….